Understanding, a Vital Relationship Skill

In order to develop good enough relationships, the ability to understand others is vital. Unnecessary criticisms and judgments often result in hurt feelings. Emotions are the energy of relationships, the music we dance to, and in order to… Read More

PERCEPTION AND RELATIONSHIPS

The perception of reality is subjective.  This awareness is vital to my thinking. If you think about the subjectivity of perception you will realize the incredible pros and cons that are implied. It is amazing that people have… Read More

Individuation

In this article I’ll address what individuation from our family of origin is, why it’s important and how it is accomplished in a healthy manner. Individuation is a normal,healthy process that young adults go through to become independent which… Read More

Blame

  A lot has been written about the behavior of blame in significant relationships. An anonymous quote says, “Blame is a cognitive distortion,” which is an interesting concept. The kind of blame I am addressing is not the… Read More

Relationship Skills: Respect and Apology

The song “Respect” has meant a great deal to many people.  Otis Redding wrote the song and Aretha Franklin performed it with her incredible, powerful talent.  Many people identify with this song.  The most powerful phrase in the… Read More

Self-Esteem or Narcissism?

People have always disagreed about importance of self-esteem. William James (1842-1910) introduced the idea over 100 years ago. Albert Ellis (1913-2007) criticized the idea as being unrealistic, illogical and self-destructive. Abraham Maslow (1909-1970) believed positive self-esteem increases our… Read More

Judgement or Acceptance in Relationships

Choices and Differences The ability to decide what we like or dislike is an important part of being an individual. It is enriching to have choices about what to eat, wear, do, etc.  Many of our choices become… Read More

Is It Attraction, Addiction or Love?

Many people confuse feelings of attraction with feelings of love.  Attraction is the first part of growing to love someone.  The attraction phase often ends after about two years.  Although attraction is important to a relationship, it is… Read More

Attitudes in Relationships

For many years, I felt uncomfortable when someone started talking about another person’s “attitude.” It seemed that the speaker was angry and wanted to make the other person change. When the angry person exploded with “I don’t like… Read More

Developing Healthy Relationship Skills

Development of Healthy Relationship Skills We begin to learn how to be in relationships when we are newborn infants.  The areas of the brain that are most important for relating are fully developed at birth.  Having a well-attuned… Read More